you guys were way drunker than both of me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
