Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
