I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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