Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
