If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
