I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
