My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
