not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
