If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
