Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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