Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
