You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
