I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
