he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
