An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
