it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
