brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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