no. you can't hotbox the world.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
soo... how was my night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
