Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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