so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
