At least make sure they are 18
Why
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
