bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
worst night to have a conscience
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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