ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
