Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
we should paint friendship bongs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
