You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
