I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
