I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
