Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
