Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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