honey bunches of taint.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
