We're facebook friends in real life
it wasn't lemon gatorade
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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