Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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