So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
