When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
