The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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