The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize