so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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