do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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