stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
