You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
