does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
