What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
