My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
