it wasn't lemon gatorade
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
