dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This house was built for laser tag.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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