Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
