Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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