I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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