we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
