oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
